Decisions

Life has been horrible to me ever since I was born. I kid you not.

Now it has struck the final blow. To the point where my relationship is now business like. No love. No commitment. Just scheduling appointments without any emotion. I am not allowed to feel anything. I am not allowed to have emotional outbursts... I am only allowed to "love" them when they are present or when they want me to. 

So...

I have made some decisions.

I will go drinking with my new friends. Why not? There's no reason not to anymore. 

I will still never smoke. 

I will get a tattoo with a friend on my ankle. Why not? Again no reason not to. 

I will date other people. Because again why not when my relationship is so restrictive on everything else why shouldn't I be allowed to go out with people and enjoy a meal and adventure. No reason not to. 

I will live near friends so I won't be alone as much as I am now. 

I will travel with whoever the hell I want. I might even go somewhere on my own to meet an online friend or just to go on my own adventure.

So what's with all these decisions?

I am tired of being a bird in a cage. My parents keep me in one and now this "relationship" I have is keeping me in one. People blame me...leave me...criticize me...and I am sick of it. I am a good person and have never done anything wrong (as in kill someone, rape someone, etc..). Well now its time for me to fucking live life. I'm not going to rot away in a cage anymore waiting for my prince to man up and save me. I am alone. I have always been alone. But I'm gonna end that. Time to go out, meet people, and leave my tower of solitude. 

~Kerii out